So my chums, this is what I have been doing all these months. Setting up the Legends of Formula 1 Festival at Silverstone next week. It has taken a year to get the licences and acts in place and longer than that to funds it all and I haven't bored you with it because, as ever with these things, it...

I admit it. This week I strayed off the straight and narrow and bought a news paper I hate. The Sunday Telegraph. Otherwise known as the Sunday Torygraph or the Church of England house journal. And what an eye opener it was. Except it wasn't. It was one of the original snoozepapers. So dull you...

When I got home from work last night my Ukranian housekeeper Olga was waiting for me, I was pleasantly surprised, she normally leaves before I get back. She's a cracking looking bird, tall, slim, blonde, big knockers, pert bum.. the works. Walking viagra. Aye Aye! Whats up here then.. thinks I....